Laugh Laugh N Laugh

>Innocent answers by kids!!!!


TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

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TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
had ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

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SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday and at same time


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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father
did't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

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At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute girl
and asked her where she got her good looks. "I musta got 'em from my daddy
said the little girl,"'cause Mommy's still got hers."

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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what
virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as

brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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big city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural New
South Wales. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a
farmer's paddock on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The
litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this
field, and now I'm going into retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you
are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial
attorneys in the States and, if you don't let me get that
duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know
how we do things up here in the Northern Rivers. We
settle small disagreements like this with the Dorrigo
Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Dorrigo Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and
then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth,
until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and
decided that he could easily take the old codger. He
agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer
slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot
into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His
second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face.
The barrister was flat on his belly then the farmer's third
kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to
get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot - now it's
my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can
have the duck."

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A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out
loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming
voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED tobe faithful to me in all ways, I will grant
you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that
kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete
and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly
things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and
glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I
could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they
give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I
can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

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SON: Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask
you a question?
DAD: Sure Son, what's the question?
SON: What is politics?
DAD: Well, let's take our home for an example. I am the wage
earner, so lets call me "Capitalism". Your mother is the
administrator of the money so we'll call her "Government".

We take care of you and your needs, so let's call you "the
people". We'll call the maid "the working class" and your
baby brother "the future". Do you understand, Son?
SON: I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it.
That night, awakened by his baby brother crying, the boy
went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had
seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents'
room and found his mother sound asleep. He then went to the
maid's room and saw his father in bed with the maid. The
boy's knocking went totally unheard by his father and
the maid,so the boy returned to this room and went back to
asleep. The next morning he reported to his father.

SON: Dad, now I think I understand what politics is.
DAD: Good, Son. Can you explain it to me in your own words?
SON: Well, while CAPITALISM is screwing the WORKING CLASS and
the GOVERNMENT is sound asleep, the PEOPLE are being
completely ignored and the FUTURE is full of shit.

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Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

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Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this
train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

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Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is
green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the
same at home.

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Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
the game went into extra time.

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Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you
give me a ring?"
"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"

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A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was
a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his
table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour,
I'll have a scotch and soda."

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'For twenty years my husband and I were very happy' 'What happened
then?'
'We met.'

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Customer : 'If I post this letter tonight, will it get to
Brighton in two days' time?'
Post Master : 'Well it might do.'
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to London.

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An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

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Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love

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1st thief : Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

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Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in
the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.

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Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

Amazing Facts About Bill Gates

1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 Million a DAY
and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR!

2. If he drops a thousand dollars, he won't even bother to pick it up b'coz
by the 4th second he picks it, he already earns it back.

3. US's national debt is about 5.62 trillion, if Bill Gates pays the debt
by himself; he will finish it in less then 10 years.

4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but still be left with US$5
Million for his pocket money.

5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in the US. If he does'nt
drink and eat, and keep his annual income US$30 Million up, he'll have to
wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates now.

6. If Bill Gates is a country, he is the 37th richest country on earth,or
US 13th biggest company, even bigger then IBM.

7. If exchange all Bill Gate's money to US$1, you can make a road from
earth to moon, 14 times back and forth. But you have to make that road
non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 plane to
transport all the money.

8. Bill Gates is 53 this year. If we assume that he still can live for 25
years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish his money before
going to heaven.

9. BUT!!! If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for every time their
computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will bankrupt in 3
years!